ThinkLady

Wise words

"Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Missing Mister Rogers

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it." -- Fred Rogers

A busy weekend is over. I watched my daughter's basketball team take second place place in the state tournament, helped my daughter with her flour sack baby project (fun stuff), made bread, exercised until covered in sweat with Wii Fit Plus, cooked meals, ran errands, caught up on email, did some volunteer work, harvested salad greens from our winter garden, took comfort food to a dear, long-time friend who's been dealing with a difficult family situation, prepped a bit for book study group this week, watched a movie or two, and I read the news, which seems every day to be ever more gloomy.

I am particularly disturbed by the disinterest of many of our leaders, politicians and the Tea Party in getting along and working for solutions. More and more the modus operandi is this: Be really angry, act like bullies on a playground, call anyone who disagrees with you names, label people and ideas as socialist or communist, belittle those you don't agree with, talk a lot about guns and prepping for rebellion, use fear, hatred and racism to whip people into a frenzy, and concoct conspiracy theories. This is a world with little reason, where overwhelming fear is fuel and anger is the vehicle and something toxic this way comes.

So I woke up early this morning in a stinking malaise, and muddled around awhile before grabbing mother's little helper "The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember." After reading a bit am feeling better. Fred Rogers was a kind, thoughtful, genuine man with erudite observations. If he was still around, I would nominate him to work as Ambassador of Civility within our own borders. I think we desperately need one.

Idea: Instead of Tea or even Coffee Parties, how about a Mister Rogers Party? We might actually get something done and learn how to be more neighborly in the process.

Insect architecture

At the risk of sounding like Spock … fascinating. From NewScientist magazine, an exploration of what humans can learn from insects that could turn building design on it's head.    

For sustainable architecture, think bug

by Philip Ball, 22 Feb 2010

IN THE heart of Africa's savannah lies a city that is a model of sustainable development. Its buttressed towers are built entirely from natural, biodegradable materials. Its inhabitants live and work in quarters that are air-conditioned and humidity-regulated, without consuming a single watt of electricity. Water comes from wells that dip deep into the earth, and food is cultivated self-sufficiently in gardens within its walls. This metropolis is not just eco-friendly: with its curved walls and graceful arches, it is rather beautiful too.

This is no human city, of course. It is a termite mound.

Full article here.

Treehugger.com supplements the article with commentary and very cool photos of termite mounds they found online here.

Can we be like water?

Fog wreathes the view outside our window, street lamps are still on, and our neighborhood looks a little like the set of a Harry Potter movie. A fine mist is falling, glazing everything with the gift of life -- water -- renewing the world without effort. What would happen if we could be like water? Here's the Tao te Ching's answer.

8

The supreme good is like water,

which nourishes all things without trying to.

It is content with the low places that people disdain,

Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground,

In thinking, keep to the simple,

In conflict, be fair and generous,

In governing, don't try to control,

In work, do what you enjoy,

In family life, be completely present.

When you are content to be simply yourself

and don't compare or compete

everybody will respect you.

All That Heaven Will Allow

Fifteen years ago today ThinkingMan a.k.a Jim Struby, and I became partners for life. We printed the words to “All That Heaven Will Allow,” by Bruce Sprinsteen in green ink on our invite, celebrated with family and friends, ate creamy cake, drank good champagne, and had a grand, festive time marking the beginning of our lives together.

Happy to say I'm still crazy about this handsome man of mine and consider the last 15 years the best of my life. Doesn’t mean our lives are perfect. They aren’t. We are two very different people from distinctly different backgrounds.

We’ve had plenty of trials and arguments. I threw my shoes at him once (he dodged), and he’s adept at words that can cut to bone, but somehow we’ve managed to grow up together and stay together like two trees with intertwining roots.

A very wise woman once told us, “Expectation is pre-meditated resentment.” And indeed I've learned expectations can undermine a relationship in no time flat. So I try to let go of them, to soften, to listen, to be willing to say “I’m sorry” when I need to, to forgive, to move on.

Despite the times of conflict, for the most part our lives are deeply rich and blessed. With any luck we’ve got at least another 15 years together and I’m very much looking forward to making this journey. If it’s anything like the last 15, we’ll be way lucky.

So to you ThinkingMan, I say thanks for being a thoughtful partner, best friend, terrific dad. Thanks for 15 years of fun and laughing our asses off at silly things that only we think are silly. Thank you for being wise enough to keep working on your stuff and for pushing me to do the same. Thank you for giving me joy beyond words, for patience, for truth, for love.

And about that mixed tape you pushed into my hands so long ago, I just want you to know, you’ve given me all that heaven will allow.