Fifteen years ago today ThinkingMan a.k.a Jim Struby, and I became partners for life. We printed the words to “All That Heaven Will Allow,” by Bruce Sprinsteen in green ink on our invite, celebrated with family and friends, ate creamy cake, drank good champagne, and had a grand, festive time marking the beginning of our lives together.
Happy to say I'm still crazy about this handsome man of mine and consider the last 15 years the best of my life. Doesn’t mean our lives are perfect. They aren’t. We are two very different people from distinctly different backgrounds.
We’ve had plenty of trials and arguments. I threw my shoes at him once (he dodged), and he’s adept at words that can cut to bone, but somehow we’ve managed to grow up together and stay together like two trees with intertwining roots.
A very wise woman once told us, “Expectation is pre-meditated resentment.” And indeed I've learned expectations can undermine a relationship in no time flat. So I try to let go of them, to soften, to listen, to be willing to say “I’m sorry” when I need to, to forgive, to move on.
Despite the times of conflict, for the most part our lives are deeply rich and blessed. With any luck we’ve got at least another 15 years together and I’m very much looking forward to making this journey. If it’s anything like the last 15, we’ll be way lucky.
So to you ThinkingMan, I say thanks for being a thoughtful partner, best friend, terrific dad. Thanks for 15 years of fun and laughing our asses off at silly things that only we think are silly. Thank you for being wise enough to keep working on your stuff and for pushing me to do the same. Thank you for giving me joy beyond words, for patience, for truth, for love.
And about that mixed tape you pushed into my hands so long ago, I just want you to know, you’ve given me all that heaven will allow.